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Missionary Position

She spits at my feet but looks to the sky as she is blessing me, so full of grace. Like Seraphim wings, the whites of her eyes glisten, wide open like Saint Peter’s Gate at the Endtimes, with no one...

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Last On the Shelf

I see her saunter down the aisle like a bridesmaid, beautiful, proud, and ignored. Of course, she’s wearing the pajama pants I bought her last Christmas, so it’s not like she’s actually trying to...

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Dad’s Diaries

Dad’s diaries are waiting in the top drawer of a bed stand in the places that we go when we get lonely for an hour. The paper-thin parchment crunches when I turn the page, like autumn leaves that fell...

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The Book of Sega Genesis

On the 8th Day, God created the Internet. He looked to it and saw that it was good. Adam & Eve were delighted — they finally had something to waste their time on while they were wasting their time...

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Godless

Simon cannot close his eyes any more. He has spent the last three days trying to hide himself in slumber, smothering his face beneath the sheets, but his damned and dying flesh has now rested far too...

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Crucifix

I’m reading Dracula and finding flaws in the logic of religions: 1) If each belief is the One True Way, why do writers bother with new fictional gods? 2) Did Jesus ever jerk off as a teen? 3) Is there...

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